Discovering that your spouse or partner is struggling with sexually compulsive behaviour can be devastating. You may well feel shocked, betrayed, frightened confused and simply do not know what to do.
Often partners ask;
'Why did this happen?'
'Was it my fault?'
'Will it stop?'
In making the discovery, partners often don't know what to do next. They can feel distracted in wondering 'Should I stay or go?', 'Is this the end of our relationship?', 'Who can I talk to?', 'What should I say?', 'Will I ever be able to trust again?', 'What do I tell the children?'.
There can be uncertainty in how much information to ask for and how much detail to have. Partners can become over responsible and over involved, checking and monitoring behaviours.
I offer partners help and support to firstly understand that sex addiction is not the partners fault. Also to know that partners cannot and should not compete with it. I can help explain why sex addiction happens and what causes it. Help and support is also given in 'letting go' of responsibility for the others choices and in discovering ways to improve and rebuild self-care and self-esteem.